well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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