he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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