Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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