i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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