Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
