wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
