For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I will pee on everything he values.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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