you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
