Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
