You surviving the open bar?
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My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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