I accidentally burped into my bong.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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