woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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