Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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