Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
