gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
