so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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