I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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