Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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