Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
