I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
