so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
