i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
