I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
