It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
