ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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