plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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