I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
