I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
