I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
