you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
