dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
