have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
