As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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