no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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