Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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