Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
