i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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