If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
God I need to hump something, right now.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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