it was like his penis was on wheels.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Are my feet made of real feet?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
