ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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