I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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