I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize