i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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