It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
