So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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