I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
