He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize