We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
