i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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