if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
