I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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