I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
