His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
