You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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