i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
