nut hugger
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
