Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Life is so much better after having sex.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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