So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
