I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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