4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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