He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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