I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
