Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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