White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
