apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
