SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
