I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
