So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize